Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, 2016

Directed by Zach Snyder, 151 minutes

Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Gal Gadot, Jesse Eisenberg, Amy Adams

by Hailey Dolan

Batman and Superman appear together for the first time in film history, but with Lois Lane (Adams), Lex Luthor (Eisenberg) and Kryptonians taking center stage, Batman’s presence feels more like a cameo than a leading role.

After half an hour of crammed-in backstory and constant jumps between storylines, our two (supposed) protagonists finally meet at a party held by Lex Luthor. Here, Bruce Wayne (Affleck) discovers Luthor has been creating a super weapon while keeping tabs on a handful of meta-humans – people with extraordinary powers. Superman (Cavill), under journalist alias Clark Kent, discovers Wayne is Gotham City’s Batman.

Affleck delivers the tortured Batman with a chronic solemn expression. Where is that switched-on charm we were expecting from billionaire Bruce Wayne? Instead, we’re stuck with a gullible Wayne who is the last to learn he is working for the villain.

Doesn’t really sound like Batman, does it?

In a robotic suit, Batman clunks around, unknowingly keeping Superman occupied while Luthor unrolls his devious plan. Our once dark knight is now merely a pawn.

For her part, Lois Lane pops up every time Superman is on the screen. Her presence is, however, more annoying than anything else. In the middle of the final battle, there she stands, somehow the only civilian to survive all of the destruction. She even figures out how to kill the Luthor-created monster before the super beings do. Just in time, of course, for Superman to grab a quick kiss.

Convenient.  

Gadot’s Wonder Woman leaves us wondering why a bigger-than-life Amazonian fighter would be portrayed by one so lithe. Though we never learn why Wonder Woman is in Metropolis to begin with, the writers have utilized her well in the battle sequence as the sole proactive combatant against the monster, while Superman flies off, distracted, and Batman is nowhere to be seen.

The only eye-catching performance comes from our villainous mastermind. Though the Luthor character is typically cold and suave, Eisenberg gives him a childish twist with neurotic tendencies. It's certainly memorable, however, not even an Oscar-worthy performance would have saved this film. With countless plot holes, we’re left with more questions than answers. And disappointment. Lots of disappointment.

A battle meant to be this epic was probably best left to our imaginations.

Our guest blogger, Hailey Dolan, is the sassy brain behind the Blogspot Lift Your Leg, where she publishes snarky reviews of music, movies and television. She also uses her powers for good, by raising money through her blog for local animal shelters. Come back soon to hear about Pachyderm Reviews upcoming fundraiser for Elephants and Bees in Nairobi, Kenya.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant

The Divergent Series: Allegiant, 2016

Directed by Robert Schwentke, 121 minutes

Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Jeff Daniels, Naomi Watts, Ansel Elgort, Zoë Kravitz, Miles Teller, Octavia Spencer

Review by Katherine Scheetz

No need to buckle your seatbelt for the penultimate installment of the Divergent Series, it moves slower than Peter (Teller) catches onto the fact he’s being used…again. Splitting a book that already has a scanty plot, Allegiant is another victim to the money-grabbers of Hollywood. Names like Jeff Daniels, Octavia Spencer, Naomi Watts, Miles Teller and yes, even Shailene Woodley deserve better.

With the evil Jeanine (Kate Winslet) dead, Four’s (James) power-hungry mother, Evelyn (Watts) is in charge of a now factionless Chicago (for those just catching up the factions were Dauntless, Amity, Erudite, Abnegation and Candor).

In the only scene that is marginally creative with panning aerial camera shots, Four and Tris (Woodley) lead a rogue group over the wall surrounding Chicago to find the people who turned them into an experiment, the big reveal that concluded the previous film. They are picked up by the Bureau of Genetic Welfare, run by David (Daniels) out of the ruins of Chicago O’Hare airport. Even in his Hilter-reminiscent outfits, he convinces an irritatingly passive Tris that the only way to help the “genetically damaged” people of Chicago is to use her “genetically pure” DNA to appeal to some mysterious council for intervention.

Meanwhile, a furrowed-brow Four learns that the Bureau is involved in kidnapping and brainwashing children from the radioactive “Fringe,” or the outskirts of nuclear wasteland that surround the Bureau’s hub. Despite the preponderance of exposition, we never do get to the reason David is stealing kids. Miles Teller provides an entertaining, mercurial and punchline-driven performance as Peter, who still doesn’t know whose side he’s on.

All this adds up to is a generic and unimaginative story set to a predictable score. We can’t decide if the hokey technology or the bad CGI is more laughable. Maybe it’s the political themes of division that lost the pissing contest to animated mammals. And lost badly.

Visit our Get Involved page to learn about our previous donations to Game Rangers International Elephant Orphanage Project and visit us again for our next opportunity to give to animal sanctuaries across the globe. 

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, 2016

Directed by Glenn Ficarra, John Requa, 112 minutes

Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Alfred Molina, Billy Bob Thornton

Review by Katherine Scheetz

It’s been a good couple of months for journalism in film. Robert Carlock’s dark comedy adapted screenplay from Kim Barker’s “The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan” is another notch on the totem.

Kim Baker (Fey) is an unattached and bored desk journalist in 2003 when the war in Iraq takes off, who jumps at an assignment reporting in Afghanistan for three months and ends up staying three years.

Baker slides on her belly under fire toward explosions by day and knocks back shots, porn and men by night with fellow adrenaline junkie journalists in the Kabul bubble or “Kabubble.” Her normal is completely recalibrated through bizarre occurrences ranging from solicitations by the attorney general of Afghanistan (Molina) to pouring her drunk heart out to a Chinese whore after her first big break. Despite a job well done by Freeman as Baker’s love interest, Iain MacKelpie, it isn’t where the film should have ended. Spoiler alert: this is not a love story, at least not that kind.

Qualifications apply, for this is a largely different film from the recent success, Spotlight (2015). But both films do their journalist roots credit with ceaselessly excellent writing and gripping pace. For Whiskey, uncensored lines roll straight out of the gate from General Hollanek (Thornton) and Tanya Vanderpoel (Robbie). Carlock doesn’t coddle us by explaining the vernacular of the Kabubble – except for “wet hooch” – that one we needed help with.

Unfortunately, because of the chaos of Kabul, Ficarra’s attempt at shining a light on Baker’s women’s right stories took a back seat, which is damn shame. Between the burkas (Fey whips out a quippy “I’m so pretty I don’t even want to vote” from beneath the blue covering) in the film and the stories of education and lifestyle Baker uncovered, the platform was there for the taking.

In spite of the madness, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is a highly entertaining and highly educational swing at the unglamorous but exotic life journalism can bring down upon its unsuspecting victims.

Visit our Get Involved page to learn about our previous donations to Game Rangers International Elephant Orphanage Project and visit us again for our next opportunity to give to animal sanctuaries across the globe. 

Zootopia

Zootopia, 2016

Directed by Byron Howard, Rich Moore, Jared Bush, 108 minutes

Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, J.K. Simmons, Jenny Slate, Shakira

Review by Katherine Scheetz

              Judy Hopps (Goodwin) is the purple-eyed daughter of two carrot farmers in Bunnyburrow, where animals still speak in tongues and your prey/predator status defines your role in life. After graduating from the police academy as the only bunny officer under Mayor Lionheart's (Simmons) Mammal Inclusion Act, her parting gift from her parents (and her 275 brothers and sisters) is “Fox-Away” pepper spray.

Judy heads to assignment in Zootopia City Center, pink iPaw blasting the latest toe-tapping hit from pop-star Gazelle (Shakira), where she is the only prey animal in a precinct of predators under Cape buffalo Chief Bogo (Elba).  

              So begins the parade of characters who reveal the harsh realities of animal relations in Judy’s Mecca, from elephant-only ice cream shops to Mafia shrews. Key among them is Nick Wilde (Bateman), a hustling fox with sleepy eyelids and hands perpetually in his pockets; nuances taken straight from Bateman’s own body language in the recording studio.

              Flawless animation accompanies the captured characteristics, down to the edging of fur on Judy’s expressive ears. But it’s everyday life details, like the texting hamster who gets squashed exiting the “tube” and the DMV run by sloths, that ground Disney’s world-building.

Writers Jared Bush and Phil Johnston deliver a tight script (if carrot-heavy) with no lag in clever lines or honest moments of friendship meant for both children and adults alike.

In Zootopia, there are doors sized for all creatures; public transportation accommodates swimmers, fliers, and tunnelers; homes exist for Tundra-dwellers, rainforest-livers, and Sahara-sunbathers. Think New York City, but built so that autism, cerebral palsy, down syndrome, ADHD, dyslexia and the like could never be thought of as disabilities, but rather part of what makes you unique. Novel.  

Disney doles out a timely message of tolerance when we need it most. Let no sheep cooking nighthowler in his meth-resembling-lab stop you from absorbing Zootopia.             

Visit our Get Involved page to learn about our previous donations to Game RangersInternational Elephant Orphanage Project and visit us again for our next opportunity to give to animal sanctuaries across the globe.

Eddie the Eagle

Eddie the Eagle, 2016

Directed by Dexter Fletcher, 106 minutes

Taron Edgerton, Hugh Jackman

Review by Katherine Scheetz

Set in the age of Charles and Diana chinaware, Taron Edgerton is Eddie Edwards, the massively far-sighted son of a “plucky plasterer” and born with “dodgy knees.” But his ambition to become an Olympian – and his precious and supportive mother (Jo Hartley) – stop at nothing to get him to the 1988 Olympics.

From the time Edwards knocks the entire British ski team down domino style, to his scrunched up nose as he wipes the his fogged up glasses with his fingers, Edgerton is idiotically charming. His jowl-heavy frown before each jump is well studied.

Writers Sean Macaulay and Simon Kelton light the story with panache. Lines roll trippingly and with the exception of the excessive heart-to-hearts, there are no wipe-outs.

Among the over-abundance of training montages, the height of entertainment is reached when fallen-from-grace ski jumper Peary (Jackman), rolling his eyes, decides to help the determined “gum on his shoe,” aka Eddie. Talking Eddie through the art of bringing Bo Derek to her full as a method of approach for the 70-meter jump, Eddie leaps into Peary’s arms, Dirty Dancing-style, over and over until he lets out a little “wee” in – let’s be British about this – excitement.

Aided by a synthesizer driven soundtrack, the buoyancy of Eddie’s optimism leaks right out of the screen. And while the movie isn’t heavy on cinematic flair, the Alps make for beautiful establishing shots and the symmetry of Peary’s aviator sunglasses is subtly appreciated.

The wardrobe department nails it by equipping the Edwards’ family with a badass collection of jumpers (we see what you did there, Fletcher). Points for reminding us of Mrs. Weasley’s Christmas sweaters.

 Eddie’s biopic might be formulaic, but the witty writing comes to life through the bromance of Peary and Eddie and its undeniable charm is as technicolor as an 80s workout video.   

Visit our Get Involved page to learn about our previous donations to Game Rangers International Elephant Orphanage Project and visit us again for our next opportunity to give to animal sanctuaries across the globe.